Yeah, Yeah, i know its been over a month since i last wrote in this thing, but I have been quite busy. For one, althought my class load is much easier, its a lot more reading then Im used to.But I got Fridays off, so its all about a 3 day weekend. Then of course there is work...blah. And althought it already seems to have gotten out without me telling anyone, I got me a man. Yes, the what seemed to be impossible has finally happened.... and I couldnt be happier.( Bizzaro... I love you) Haha. Other then that, nothing too exciting has been going on. Im planning my 21st birthday party, so if anyone feels the urge to see me, that would be the day to come and visit ( May 9th) Well I have to get ready for class.Sorry ive neglected your need to know what going on in my life. Hope all is well.

"....gimme some lovin early in the morning..."

Yes, i have fallen into that dreaded cycle of never updating my blog. I never thought I would become that type of person, seeing as how I love to do anything that will distract me from studying. But with sleep sparce, study time even worse,and my desire to hang out with my residents stronger then any motivation I posses, updating my blog just doenst seem to fit into my schedual. So what have I been up to lately? Well to tell you the truth, i really havent been up to anything too exciting these past few weeks. Although my social activities usually consist of staying up way too late and eating crakers and cheese with my residents, i am perfectly content with my lack of outside interaction. Oh,I finally went to a concert last night, my first since the summer. Peter, you rock. And so does Death Cab For Cutie and The Velvet Teens!! Very cool. I dont know about most people but when i go to concerts, i have the urge to just lay on the floor with my eyes close and just feel the bass. Odd if you ask me, but not something new in regards to my crazyness.Anyways, finals week is coming up, and unfortunatly i am suffering from spring quarter syndrom a quater too early.I am suppse to be studying for 20L right now, but instead I am taking advatage of the Res Life computer to satisfy my desire to procrastinate. Im sorry that some of my buds are already in SD, anxiously awaiting my arrival only to be devistated by the fact that I wont be coming in till they are on there way back to their respective colleges.Oh well, I miss everyone to death, we can make it a few more weeks. I will see some of you soon, and some of you only in my dreams, the summer isnt too far away. Good Luck!!



"..I lay inside myself for hours.."

Valentines Day has come and gone, and unlike my past years of glutuneous choclate eating and angry girl music, I went out on the town with some friends. Granted that half of us were sick, our going out consisted of going to a movie, (25th hour) where looking good just doesnt matter. Before that, I chilled with some of my residents, something that always puts me in a good mood. There is nothing like playing a game of darts where the prize is to make out with me : ) Although there were couples that needed to be gunned down, I was happy with how my Valentines day turned out. I got a call from my buddy Robert,which, just listening to his voice is enough to make me happy, which is why his messages are always left on my answering machine. And of course my All Time Valintine, my Daddy, called : ) Oh, and nothing beats the Valentine blues like checking out I Hate Valentine's Day websites with Jim in the Res Life office. As for the rest of my insane life, I just got through RA intervies and am in the process of applying for an internship with the Health Center. Add that to an insane class schedual, and my unforgiving research, to which i found out that I suck at making my PCR solutions ( for you science challenced, the basic idea is that its a machine that makes lots of DNA from a little amount). So hopefully my last attempt will come out right. So I have a four day weekend, and althougth I didnt do much today, its not over yet. Its all about tomorrow thought, Jen is coming to pick me up, and the two of us are nothing but trouble ( HaHa) I think the only places that should be scared of us are those that serve food! So everone have a great weekend. I Love You!

"...I wanna make love to ya baby..." -Darren,student/songwriter

The past couple weeks have been hell. This quarter has been the worst of my college experiance and the worst part is that things are not looking to get any better. I guess getting an ass kicking is what I need. Ive always been a stubborn mule and sometimes i just need a little push. But to be so busy I can barely breath is not exactly what I call a dream come true. My research demands so much time that every free minute Im at my bench, even on weekends. School is definately getting put on the backburner because of this, which means i need to take extra time to catch up. The RA thing is actually the only thing that keeps me sane, coming out of my prison (aka my room) and talking to them is a treat. Unfortunately the other side of the hall doesnt feel the same way. To them I am the "Dark Lord" and the "Smoking Nazi" This doesnt bother me, im not exactly thrilled about people who voluntarilly are trying to kill themselves and the people around them by smoking whereever they want. Im actually am kinda flattered that they would take the time to defame my posters and make up names for me since they really dont have any clue who I am nor do they try. The fact that I annoy them to the point of slander makes me feel like im getting my job done. Common curtousey and respect is all I ask of these kids and my side has this and we live in harmony(sort of) and considering that I let most of them get away with murder, i dont think its too much of a request. Oh well, I have few enemies and if the only reason they dont care for me is because Im trying to save some lungs then let them, either way, Im am enjoying clean air. : ) As for my social life, it has its ups an downs. This past weekend was an up weekend even thought I was busy. I went Salsa dancing, which I am horrible at, but it was good clean fun and the best part was the absence of creepy men. I also finally went to The Mystery Spot and found out I was a contortionist by peeing in the smallest stall I have ever seen in my life. Then there was the ultra cool Superbowl party I threw for my kids. Actually Sunday was the best day of the week. I woke up at 5:30am, jumped in a borrowed car and made my way to the beach. One of the best things in life is to sit alone on the beach with your eyes closed. Now thats heaven. Well its time to go back to hell, I have 2 lab reports due, a presentation of my research and a midterm this week, fun. Well I hope all is well with everyone, TTYL


"...we try to keep our eye on the big picture, but the picture keeps on getting bigger.."

Many people have wondered why im crazy. Well I finally have the answer. After fighting with teleslug, i went to my academic preceptor to complain. Well she looked up my file and saw my last name. She wondered where it came from and I proudly said it was italian. Of course she thought I was latina, to which i replied that I was. She smiled and said that i must have lots of passion. Ha!! there it is, its in my blood. Now, i always knew i was a very passionate person and I love it. It makes everything that much more important, horrible and wonderful. I have been known as obsessive, a drama queen, a sap and just down right crazy and althought im a little of everything, i think its great and wouldnt trade my crazyness with anyone. Another topic of interest was a scibble i found on a makeshift wall, the ones that are popping up everywhere due to construction. It said " practice safe delusions." Im torn between what to think about this because I guess its up to interpretation. Now, at first i thought that it wouldnt be much of a delusion if it was a safe one, arent all delusions a little crazy. But then i thought about how it would suck if you believed in something and then relized you were totally screwy, and it ruined your life. Thats not safe. But then is it talking about something important like war solving our problems or are they just talking about something petty like believing the reason someone ran into a glass door was because he was awestruck by your beauty instead of him just being a clutz. Im second the former for this happened the other night to me. I guess its just something that has me thinking. Its kinda sad that something you pass by makes an impression when you should be thinking about how your gonna fail physics if you dont become a library rat or how you should group your mutants so that they make sense to other people and not just you. I think i need a vacation.... already. Well hope all is well. love you.

".....I could change my life to better suit your mood..."

Hola!!
I am finally able to waste some time and update my blog. I have been away for a while so I have much to say, so those who are weary at heart, this is gonna be a jam packed blog, so be warned. Anyways, SD was really nice, I miss my boyfriends already : ) Its really funny that when im in Santa Cruz, i hang out with more girls and when im in SD, i just hang around boys. Now if i could only just bring them together, all would be perfect, except I wouldnt get all the attention : ). Happy New Years!! I know its late, but whatever. My resolutions are still in the draft proceess, but i do have a few that I know Im keeping. 1) Finish my thesis. a very bold request but if i do it then im getting published, so there is my motivation. 2) learn how to play an instrument. I have been bothering myself forever about this, and for the music fien that I am, it almost seems ridiculous that i cant even read some notes. Now of course there are the givin resolutions such as loose wieght and do better in school, but since those are something that rarely gets done, i wont even bother adding them to my list and just hope that my sub conciouse wakes up and I do them automatically. School sucks already. The stupid school dropped me from my classes because they are idiots and I had to crash all of my classes. Now, I have never had to crash a class, my compulsiveness keeps me in check, so when its my time to enroll, I am at my computer at whatever day and time it is, down to the last second, its amazing. So being the control freak that I am , i almost had a coronary when i found out that I wasnt enrolled in anything. But somehow I was able to do the impossible and I am in all my original classes. But because of all of this I have been running around like a mad person, trying to get my schedual straight, buying books, waiting in lines, getting my RA stuff done, trying to find time to even want to analyze my data, and then just try to get myself in the groove again. Although I am compleatly exhausted, I still feel that I havent gotten a damn thing done.Dont you hate that. Another thing I hate is Physics. I have been to one class and already i loath it as much as math. Yuck. And of course it has a lab, which is 3 hrs, then you add that to the 4 hr, twice a week bio lab and the fact that I work in a lab. Thats a lot of freaking time to spend in a really depressing room. Hmm. Oh and can you believe Im considering a TA'ing job. HaHa. Im know, im crazy. Speaking of crazy, one of my residents just told me that she thinks she seen a ghost last night. Now, I am deathly afriad of ghost, or spirits, or whatever makes you feel like your being watched( no remarks form the peanut gallery, thank you very much). Here goes my supernatural speal again. I believe her, and even though her roomate thinks its ridicoulous, she cannot deny the fact that both of thier alarm clocks were switched to pm, when they remember putting them on am. Now, I know Merrill is haunted, its legend around here, but my building has always been free from anything like that, so when I heard this, i almost choked on my salad. I plan on not sleeping very well tonight, being afraid of wierd things and then having a wild imagination is not a good mix. Well I think this is more then most people can get throught so Ill stop. My mind is not an easy thing to get through, so whoever has finished reading this is super hard core and I know you love me. Well to all of my home soul mates. I miss you terribly. I had so much fun and hated to leave you all. To Steve and Phil, you guys are true blue, some things never change, Trung, you are my bio hero, if only I had you around more often, i guess i have some major visiting to do. Yaniv, aka: Baggins, I hope my punching didnt cause any more blood leakage, hope you get better and I will make a point to come see you, I love you. Tim, i hope you enjoyed the tamales, they are made with endless love, just for you. Mi amigas, well i need a bf just so i can be part of the gang, i love the little time we did see each other, you guys are the best. Robert, ha, enjoy Captain, i sewed my own heart into him, take care of yourself, you are part of me, and i need all my parts working right if im even going to make it throught this life. Skip, hmm, I dont even think I need to say anything, you probably already know what Im thinking. I love all of you, and the memories make Santa Cruz just that more bareable, Kisses for you. Good luck in school, and for all you Griffins, think of us while your on your long vacations : ) Adios!!
( oh my goodness this is a long ass blog!)


"..all is full of love..."

I have been trapped in my room due to the enormous storm that has hit Santa Cruz. Since rain is nothing new here, i usually brave the weather and go out. But this storm is just too strong. If there are branches breaking from the wind and rain, i think thats a clue to stay the hell inside. So I am and although i was going to use this time off to finish up some Christmas shopping, im kinda glad to be just laying in bed, still in my pj's even though its almost 4 and just listiening to Billie Holliday. Life is great. Now I can catch up on making my blanket, reading, and just my usual laying around. Now if i just had a Mexican Mocha Id be set. But like I said, im staying inside, where its warm and dry. I am the only person on my floor right now, most of my kids swore that Id miss them, and althought the thought of people is comforting, I am not as loneley as everyone said I would be. So one of my charished characteristics pays off in more then one way. I do really love to be alone. I would rather go out alone, watch movies alone and shop alone. I want to travel alone but unfortunately my parents are ridgidly against it. So although I know many people who wont even go to the dining hall alone, I am quiet the opposite and enjoy my own company. But as I have come to notice, there are many sides to me. Not that i have multiple personalities, but that there are different aspects to my personality that come and go. But is seems to be induced by my surroundings. When im home, all I want to do is to be around with my SD buddies and my family. When Im here alone, all I want to do is be alone. Hmm. The brain is very tricky. Maybe im just good at adjusting to things that just cant be helped. Ok, im babbling. Anyways, got my grades back. I passesed Calculus!!!! HaHa!! And I got a B in bio and a B+ in sociology, pretty good if you ask me, even thougth i was hoping for an A in sociology, a B+ will due. Ahh, now just imagine what I could do if I just studied as much as I should. Ok, well just thought Id check in. Ill be home on Monday, cant wait. Hope all is well with everyone, and for those still doing finals, may the Force be with you. Love Ya!!!


".....who will buy, who would like to sample my supply, whose prepared to pay the price, for a trip to paradise,........ love for sale"

Ahhhhh. There is not a more gratifying feeling then finishing your finals and having nothing better to do then lay around. Unfortunately, even though my finals finished yesterday, I have been barely able to enjoy the extra time. My crazy life does not get any better with school over, for there are many aspects that are still in full force even after the last test. The RA gig turned into overdrive at the worst possiple time.....finals week.....but knowing this when I signed up for the job, I took it like a the rock that I am and managed to solve the dilema and manage to squeak by on my finals. And of course there is my second job, my research. I just happened to finish the biggest part of my experiment this week, which means for the past 3 weeks I have been mating my vibrio and e. coli, transfering the results to over 200 plates and picking 3000 colonies to create my mutant library. Mind you there is lot of backround work to this, like making media, washing over 200 pieces of velvet and counting 5447 colonies which came from this experiment. But now, i have my thesis, I have 150 different colonial morphology mutants of the rugose form of V.cholerea. So now is the data collecting process, which happened today,consisting of about 80 drawings of different colonies and there is still more to do. But of course all work and no play makes Selena a dull girl, which in my case isnt true. Being a part of all these things has its perks. I had an E-tox dept. Christmas party which was followed by a Res. Life Christmas party in which during the White Elephant gift exchange I recived a stolen "Drama" sign from the drama building.Hmmm, Im still debating if I should hang that up seeing as how I dont want to get in trouble for vandalizing the drama building. RA's set such good examples . In regards to RA perks, I got an anonymous gift that was left on my door. Seeing as how the note read " Until you get the real one" and opened it to find the Spiderman DVD and a Spiderman calender, I can only guess that this is from my kids. Why would I assume this? Well at breakfast one time I remember telling my kids that I would like a guy who wouldnt mind dressing up as Spiderman. This was a totally innocent request, so all you dirty minded people, get your head out of the gutter! I remember only saying this to them, so that is why i think, one or a few of them did this. Anyways, it made my day, and will make my vacation. Although sometimes i feel like throwing some of them off the balcony, I really do love all my kids. Well I am staying here for another week to do more data collecting and to work on my research paper, so I will not just be lying around like I would be if I was home. SD buddies, i will be home soon. Cant wait. But for now I am destined to wander the halls alone, trying to keep myself from being afraid of the haunted dorms, and working my butt off. Everyone good luck on finals. I will see you soon!!!!!

".....there's beauty in the breakdown..."

There are only two ways to get me to shut up. Kissing and listening to oldies.The first is obvious, but seldom used. Oldies on the other hand has become a favorite weapon of my friend Gabe, who constantly tells me that I " talk too damn much". Thus, he has recently downloaded a bunch of my favorites onto my computer, which secures a peaceful lunch when he makes his tuesday visit. I dont know why this type of music has the effect it does. Maybe it makes me think of my dad, who got me hooked in the first place. Or maybe its just the beat and the truthfulness that comes from the lyrics. Whatever it is, I am a slave to oldies and find myself in a dream like trance listening to it. So Gabe, even thought I know this is your way of getting me to quit talking, thank you. The following song has been dear to my heart for many years, for many reasons. Enjoy!!

If you want something to play with /go and find yourself a toy/ baby my time is too expensive/ and im not a little boy/ if you are serious/ dont play with my heart it makes me furious/ but if you want me to love you then baby i will /girl you know i will/ tell it like it is/ dont be ashamed/ let you conscious be your guide/ i know deep down inside of me/ i beleive you love me/ foregt you foolish pride/ life is too short/ to have sorrow/ you may be here today/ and gone tomorrow/ you might as well / get what you want/ so go on and live/ baby go on an live/ tell it like it is/ im nothing to play with/ got an find you self a toy/ tell it like it is/ my time is too expensive / and im not you little boy.

Aaron Neville- Tell it Like it Is

On to another topic I am very mad at myself becuase I stayed up to see the meteor shower on tuesday and didnt make a single wish. I mush have been delirious with cold and sickness, but still, not one single wish! But i think that the stars knew what I wanted becuase I passed my math test!!!!! So despide my raging fever and runny nose, I am in a celebatory mood. So my once "I hate school" attitude has switched to "I dislike school", which is a big improvement, believe me. So there is really only 4 more days of classes and then finals, so Im not so bitter anymore. Unfortunately, since my school doesnt do anything practiacl, I have 2 finals the monday after Thanksgiving, which means I am staying here to study and dream of being compleately stuffed. But I get paid in Safeway money for being "RA for a day", so im gonna go get me some food!!! Well I hope all of you are well, I must leave to finish up some of my hw so i can take my Nyquil and peace out for then night. Love you!


"....just look to your soul, and open your mind..."