I'm back! It was a very difficult week, having internet service once for only 10 minutes, waking up at 5 am everyday to travel in manageable traffic, and at one point, a dead cell phone battery. I was in LA taking a week long teacher training class. Once I turn in all my paperwork, I will become a substitute teacher for LA Unified School District. The most common response to this is "Are you crazy!?" Maybe, and after hearing this often, I began to doubt myself (as usual). But after meeting some amazing people in my class and what I learned inside and outside the classroom, I'm feeling much better about my decision.

On Wednesday, I had to observe at a school the program picked for me due to its proximity to where I was staying. Since I want to teach secondary, I was sent to a middle school. With Google map directions in hand, I set out for an unknown area of LA. I got lost multiple times, and during this time, I passed a sign that said Lincoln Heights. A chill ran down my spine. My mother is from Lincoln Heights.

I finally found the school, parked and took in my surroundings. Lets just say the area is very different from the comfortable suburban living I am used to. Having never been in the area, and also utterly confused by the way LA names its geographical areas, I didn't really know if I was still in Lincoln Heights. With only one battery bar on my phone, I figured Id call my mom later to tell her where I ended up. I tried to read the newspaper (I was early) but something was bothering me. I gave into my urge to text my mother, thinking that maybe she remembered where the school was.

Thirty five years later, I returned to the same middle school my mother and her six brothers attended. At that moment, when I read my mother's response to my text , the fear and doubt I felt, although still strong today, morphed into a purpose. Ive always known that my mother did not enjoy the same carefree childhood I had, or the opportunities I take for granted. And there I was, full circle. The need in these schools is great and because of stigma (and fact) schools represented by the majority of LAUSD are seen as scary. Don't get me wrong, I'm still scared to death, and if any of these kids are anything like my mother, as I'm sure they are, Ill have my hands full. My grandmother told me that she was once called to the middle school to pick up my mother. My mom had told another student she was going to beat them up after school. Checking this story with my mom, she admitted that she really was going to beat her up.

My point is this; I have struggled for years over where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to do with my degree. Even while going to school for my credential, I have doubted that I'm capable of being a good teacher and that I might be better off doing something else. I wont say that this doubt has left completely, but after spending the day at Florence Nightingale Middle School, I feel, regardless of my insecurity, that my life is falling into place just as it should.

Pic is of my mom and I at Bryce Canyon National Park, UT- It's my favorite picture of us