This pissed me off

Whether you acknowledge it or not, there’s good reason to worry. By the time 35th-birthday-brunch celebrations roll around for still-single women, serious, irreversible life issues masquerading as “jokes” creep into public conversation: Well, I don’t feel old, but my eggs sure do! or Maybe this year I’ll marry Todd. I’m not getting any younger! The birthday girl smiles a bit too widely as she delivers these lines, and everyone laughs a little too hard for a little too long, not because we find these sentiments funny, but because we’re awkwardly acknowledging how unfunny they are. At their core, they pose one of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas many single women are forced to grapple with nowadays: Is it better to be alone, or to settle?

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.)

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I think its better to be "alone". At this age, I have no desire to marry or have children. The reasons being that I want to do my own shit and not have to take care of anyone else. Is that selfish? It depends on how you look at it. From my view, its not selfish at all, but being honest with my emotional limitations and the goals I have for myself. If you look at it from a traditional view point, that is, getting married and having a family is the highest aspiration for a women, then yeah, Im an emotional mutant. What pisses me off so much about this article is that it 1) assumes women's happiness is found only in having a family 2) that we are a bunch of manipulative animals that only want a husband because of "business" purposes. If you're willing to settle for someone integral to your happiness, what does it say about the quality of the rest of your life. As I get older, I assume my needs from a man will be different than what I look for now, but Im definitely not settling so Im not "alone". Besides, Ill never really be "alone", Ill always have family and friends. And since settling in this article suggests that you probably wont have sex anyways (marriage = celibacy) why does it matter if all my future relationships are platonic? And if I want a baby, there are plenty of wonderful children who are just waiting to be adopted, no sperm needed. I think this article is also insulting to men. Not all men are bad or terribly flawed and Im sure they don't want to feel like prey. If they felt this way towards me Id feel rather defeated and resist at first mention of it. I dream of finding love just as much as the next person, and have no doubt that its in my future, but I refuse to lower my expectations in order to get married. I have better things to do if its been reduced to running a business.

Here is an article in response to Marry Him! The Latest Insult to Women: "Settle for Mr. Good Enough"