This week has really made me think, in a diffferent way of course, which is why Im choosing to write about it. Unlike the other weeks of my internship, this week has nothing to do with lab. Instead we are learning how to write about ourselves. For us science majors, writing about ourselves happens only twice. Once, when we apply for college and second when we apply for graduate school/med school. Which is why most of us were trembling with nervouseness at the thought of this week. But it has been quite an experiance for me so far and its only been the second day. Normally my bragging skills are bordering pathetic. Of course I know Im a good person and I am at least moderately intelligent, but try to sell yourself to someone who has read the same thing 5 million times before reading it in your statement. Graduate school/med school has got me shaking in my boots. It was said that 35,000 students applied for med school last year and only 16,000 got in. Yikes. Makes you do some deep meditation about what the hell your gonna do to make yourself look amazing.After doing some quick writes and participating in conversation, I think I am seriously ready to kick some personal statement butt. I have a rough draft due at the end of the week, and although I plan to make it a damn good statement, I have yet to start on it, and on 2 other lab write ups for that matter. Wow, my motivation dies quick. But I have made a resolution and plan on doing some serious studying these next two years. You might think Im crazy for thinking about the next 2 years, but like I said I am very "passionate" and anything that keeps my attention for more then 5 minutes is dwelled upon until it cant be processed another way, EVER. Ahh the mind of Selena. I think if someone tried to study my brain, I would wear them out. My neurons and axons are at constant motion, not only to keep my heart beating but to figure out what the hell all this Stuff means. "Stuff" meaning life. I have changed my mind about things so many times, made so many lists, and scheduals, I dont even know which ones are the most recent, which then produces a new list a new decision or a new schedual. Maybe if I put half the energy I did thinking about random stuff, into my education, I might not be as stressed out as I am. Baby steps people, its all about baby steps. As for my life outside my brain, the weather has finally cleared up and since I have no lab I have taken advatage of it and am getting some use out of my sandles and summer clothes. I have two more weeks left and am looking forward for the very brief visit home (Grignard misses me) Well I will stop my rambiling (believe me, I could write more) Everyone stay safe, Happy Summer, Love you

"....there goes the fear.."

Hola!! Ok, Im really proud of myself because I thought that I would be writing in this thing constantly and well, as you may have already noticed I am very bad at updating it, which means I have made steps towards doing less meaningless things. Well I have a ton of meaningless projects that still take up a majority of my time, but at least I havent added another. Anyways, the intership is still going well, i am learning not only a lot of science, but also a lot about myself, which is always a good thing. For one, I am sometimes very antisocial and another I really need to start organizing what I learn, because unfortunately I dont remember a thing about fresheman year and well, I kinda needed that gen. chem. stuff. But I am not alone so thats a good thing. Also my buddies have come back to SC so I am not forced to wander the streets of SC by myslef any longer. Its funny how one minute you cant wait to get away from people and then the next you miss them like you'd miss half of your heart. Ahh, the joys of being absolutely insane. I am starting to believe it when people call me crazy, because after having time to do many self evaluations, I have realized that I really am. But I dont take that as a bad thing, in fact, i have changed it to a better term. So all of you who I bewilder on a daily basis, dont worry, im not crazy, just very "passionate" about every single thing. Well I hope everyone is having a good summer, I have 3 more weeks to go and then I come home!! Every keep happy and stay safe, I love you

Well I have now finished the 2nd week of my internship, 6 more weeks to go. Acutually, it is going rather well. My fellow workers are all really cool, and we all clicked immediately. So far I have tested my own pee for its contents while consuming a shot of salt water, and learned how to survive in the very confusing world of worm/human genomic databases. The weather here is perfect, not too hot and not too cold. I have actually had time to work on my paintings and other crafts and although life is rather slow around The Village, my cabana dwellers and I have managed to keep somewhat busy. The only problem is the wildlife. Yes, I said wild life. Many of you may have heard me brag about our friendly deers, but The Village is populated with much more. A pack of coyotes live across the way from my cabana and keep me up with their howling and yelping. Also mountiain lions frequent the area. I have yet to see one ( hopefully it stays that way), but many a people have repeorted their sighings and there are bulletins posted all over the place. I refuse to walk around at night at the off chance that I be attacked by a mountain lion, a pack of coyotes, snakes( yes their here too) or rabid deer, squierls and prairie dogs( which are in abundance) Although this may seem like an amusment park to those reading this, believe me, i like nature, but this is out of control. On a better note, I have been going to the beach on a regular basis, ( i actually plan on going today) and have recovered my long lost tan.Well the shower is finally unoccupied and if im gonna have a chance at lukewarm water I better get in there. Hope everyone is enjoying themselves. Keep in touch. Love you

Well once again I am in Santa Cruz. My residence consists of a single room in a rather nice bongalo situated in a giant crater on campus. Although it was believed that this would be a huge disaster, it has been proven otherwise. I have many friends who also live in " The Hole" so I at least have some people to bug. But I have only been here one full day and already I am bored out of my mind. So bored in fact I busied myself by watching my friend cook his dinner. My tv is still in storage so my entertainment has been reduced to listening to my very old playlist and my neighbor get it on with her boyfriend( this was not exactly done voluntarily). Tomorrow will be my first day of work. Once again I am subjected to lab life after a quarter of complete bliss (meaning no lab). Dont get me wrong, I love this stuff. Its just that I also hate it. Instead of a summer full of sun and bikinis, its goggles and flourecent lighting for me. 8 hours a day for 8 weeks of unknown compounds, GC's, funky smells and ( gasp) lab write ups. Yippie Oh well, I know Im gonna love it seeing as how I was practically falling out of my chair when I read some of the research the professors in the program are doing. Although I am upset that my visit home was cut short, I cannot deny the fact that I need to start kicking some science ass if Im gonna get into the MD/PhD program of my dreams. There are no more kick back summers for me my friends, Im am completely devoted to becoming a mad scientist/doctor for the next 10 years ( please pray for me). My friends I must go, and since I know home folk read this more then my SC buddies (they just have to come to my room to hear this) I just want to say that my brief visit was not in vain, I had fun while it lasted and hope you all have a great summer, and keep in touch, I have a feeling Im gonna need some outside interaction to stay sane
Love You

I never really appreciated having nothing to do until I came to college. Now it is a blessing to just sit around and stare at the wall. Well school is officially over and although my mental functions are not quite what they used to be, i am nevertheless alive. I leave here on friday, and then spend the weekend in Big Bear with mi familia and my buddy Jen. So i will be home on Sunday and am expecting that all of you to start planning up stuff cause you need to show Jen that you are at least half as cool as tell her you all are. So now I have two days to just sit around and do nothing , which is nice cause that means i can finally start painting again, and work on my necklaces, which is probably not a good idea since i have a bag full of them that i never wear. Ok, well thats it, I know you are all exctited that summer has finally come and I will be coming home. Now you can for once listen to your parents and put the Selena shrine away. Cant wait to see you all. Love ya. And for all my Santa Cruz buds, im gonna miss you too, but ill be back soon so theres no need to get emotional. See Ya

Ok, its taken me a little while, but ive been kinda busy. Its been hot, well its only 76 degrees, buts thats pretty hot when your used to always being cold. Anyways, my time has been used up trying to keep cool, which means frequent trips to get ice cream, and to Safeway. Spending money alwasy makes me forget how hot it is. Tomrrow is the last day of school, and i only have one class to go to. Thank God. I was talking to my friend today about how the the excitement of school ending has changed. In elememtry and jr. high, i can remember screming for joy and running around like a mad person when the bell rang. In high school, the excitement was still there, but being the mature person i am, i just walked around with a huge grin on my face and made plans for the next three months with friends. Now, all I can see myslef doing is falling on the floor with humility and thanking the heavens for having mercy over me and letting me live through this tourturous year of ochem and biology. But i still have 2 finals left, which puts me at the ultimate test, because not only do I not like the heat, i dont function in it. So i have to drag myself away from the fridge and get myself excited about calculus and bio, which at this point is not working, seeing as how i would rather sip my cold water and write this. This is gonna be a tough weekend. But hopefully i can snag a spot on the beach and study, and test my hypothesis that I will never ever be hit on, seeing as how i am the only person I know who hasnt. But that is the last of my worries, ive got some calc and bio ass to kick and very little time to do it, so everyone pull out their hidden Selena shrine and pray for a fast and painless finals week for me. I love all of you, cant wait to be back in SD so i can complain not only about the heat, but also about the humidity. You gotta love home though. Hasta

Ok, this is my last one for today. I just thought that I should make a meaningful blog instead of the jibberish of my first two. Anyways. It is Memorial Day weekend, and like a good girl I am home studying ( sort of) I have a week left of school ( thank God) and then two finals and then Im going home to San Diego on the 7th. It been kind of depressing because i keep seeing these commercials for San Diego up here and all I can think is that I left that beautiful place to come freeze to death in Santa Cruz. I am also happy that school is ending, not only because that means I get out of school but because I get away from my roomates, who have succesfully driven me mad. I never thought of myself as a very clean person, but im not a disqusting pig which would discribe my roomates. I am gonna live in a single room next year and even though i have to watch 28 freshyies it beats having to live with those girls again. Thats right, im gonna be an RA. Im am very excited. I feel that i have developed a " dont piss me off, or youll be sorry" attituted because of my living situation this year and feel that it will help me deal with my kids next year ( hopefully) Anyways, there is a reason im a staying home on a weekend, which is to study, and seeing as how this does not relate to any of my classes, i should probably quit writing so much. I can already see that this is going to be a problem. Have a nice day !

Yeah!!!! It work! Now I feel really retarted, I never thougth I would get into this, but after seeing all my buddies do it, I figured I would try it out as well. Now I feel cool cause I got it to work. Now lets see if anyone actually reads this stupid thing. Oh well,maybe thats a good thing if they dont cause then i could just vent and not have to worry about getting any feedback. But if you do read this, remember... I am a college student and have become cliniclly insanse.

Ok, im trying this out for the first time and I really dont know if if will work, considering that I have know idea what Im doing. Where is a computer god when I need one, ok, here it goes