So, with the threat of losing my job and my students becoming more difficult to teach each day, i have really considered becoming a journalist and writing about science. I never thought I was a good writer, so its funny that I now aspire to become one. I don't know if I want to write only about science, since I love so many things, but it will be one of my favorite topics and one that I hope I can turn into a career. Ive also looked into classes at the local community college and found a journalism program. When I think about it, writing is not all that different than teaching. Its information gathered, researched and put out in a more pleasing (easy?) way. My job requires this of me everyday, sometimes I fail miserably, but sometimes its just perfect.

I'm bummed that I didn't look into this earlier, while still in college. I keep finding internships I am unable to apply for and classes I overlooked. I'm only 27, yet it feels like I am stuck, that my only option is to not get fired. So I am left to do all the research and practice on my own and hopefully get into the program at the community college. This could be good for me, but it will require lots of will power and focus, which by 3 0'clock are no longer words recognized by my brain. This is going to be a slow endeavor. Wish me luck.

So, due to a comment made by an old friend, the fact that I never use MySpace, and the need to vent, I have decided to start up this blog again. I didnt really want to stop, but work (and facebook) didnt really give me much extra time. So anyways, starting anew, writing about issues that bother me (which is practically everything these days) and of course science.

This is especially important since I am currently looking into writing programs. My dream of becoming a science writer has not disappeared and it would be good to get some practice. Lets see where this blog takes me.

I heart Keith Olbermann

Here we go again.....

So tomorrow I start a new life. A new (maybe temporary) home and possibly a new job. Now, if things go according to plan, it could be wonderful. But since nothing ever goes according to plan, I have stressed myself out so much that I have a new "ulcer".

The one sure thing in my life right now is that there are endless possibilities. I just hope Im quick enough, and lucky enough to find the right ones.

Above is a picture that pretty sums up how Im feeling- Im about to get eaten alive

I LOVE Turtles!

Turtle Nabs Drug Suspect

A box turtle equipped with GPS helps police nab a suspect growing marijuana in Rock Creek Park.

Just south of the DC/Maryland line, a turtle wearing a GPS device for research purposes makes an amazing discovery.

"The ranger in charge of the program discovered the turtle in the middle of a marijuana field," Sgt. Robert Lachance of the U.S. Park Police says.

Its been two weeks since my tests and I have, I think, finally gotten used to having free time that I dont have to feel guilty about. So I started reading NY Times, and quickly, as usual, became very depressed.

For almost a month, my news consumption had hit an all time low. I looked at the NY Times main page, scanned for what I thought was the most important/interesting and that was about it. I was feeling rather bad about being so uninformed, but I needed to study.

Sidebar
Caltech is a perfect place to study because you are surrounded by people who will always be 10x smarter than you on their worst day. This motivated me, since most of the people I smiled at while walking on campus, refused to return the sentiment. "Im smart dammit!" I wanted to scream, but would then return to my room and attempt to relearn 4 years of college biology and hang my head in despair.

Warm fuzzy CSET studying trivia: I had been studying some chemistry and came across the work of Robert Millikan, who found the charge of an electron from oil droplets suspended between two electrodes (WTF?!, I know). I then went on tour of Caltech and what do we come across? A bust of Robert fuckin Millikan, who was once president of Caltech. <3

Oh, one more Caltech warm fuzzy. SoCal just happened to have an earthquake, a rather large one, and who was everyone looking to for info? Caltech.

Anyways, back to depressing news. So today, I finally got back into the routine of reading the news, and I just became increasingly upset at what I was reading, beating myself up that I cannot change the world tomorrow. How long can I take these beatings? I dont know. What I do know is that it is rather unhealthy and cant possible be helping me fight my issue with chronic stress. So....just to included everyone in on the fun, here are two articles that make me want to jump out a window.

'The Jungle', Again
The Biggest Issue

(Yes, I realize they are op-ed's but that doesnt mean they still dont piss me off)

Besides all that, Im well, and excited to return back to my life in a little over a week, with some new exciting/terrifying additions. : )

P.S. I now have a facebook and it has (of course) become an addiction

All grown up....

The Chatterbox a cool place to hang out

So my friend's bar is in the newspaper today and I cant help but be proud. Having been a patron since the beginning, I have many fond (and not so fond) memories of this place, so Im happy that it has grown to be successful. Plus, it has Negro Modelo...my favorite beer, thanks Ralph.



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Now playing: The Twilight Sad - Mapped By What Surrounded Them
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OOOOOHHHHHGGGHHHHHH!

Cheney’s Office and the Course of Climate Policy

The White House, in 2004 and 2008, has said that any presidential administration has every right to adjust or shape information flowing through the government agencies it manages. A central defender of the Bush administration’s vetting of last fall’s testimony on climate and health was John H. Marburger III, the president’s science adviser. In my 2004 story, displaying his usual candor, Dr. Marburger justified administration actions of this sort this way:

“So there’s always going to be a tilt in an administration like this one to a certain set of actions that you take to achieve some policy objective,” he said. “In general, science may give you some limits and tell you some boundary conditions on that set of actions, but it really doesn’t tell you what to do.”

There's a lot of shit going on today...
6 Die in Attact on U.S. Post in Turkey
Iran Reports Missile Test in Show of Force
Senate Backs Wiretap Bill to Shield Phone Companies (this one breaks my heart)



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NatalieDee

So today I find out about Obama's stance on late term abortion and what he thinks are good enough reasons for it. Now, Obama is starting to piss me off. I know he can't please everyone, and Im ok with that, but when men start talking about what they think validates an abortion, i get a little nutty. Especially when its to pander to the pro-lifers, who don't give a shit about life once that baby is born to a mother who is either too poor, young, abused, scared or all of the above.

You know how you reduce abortion? EDUCATION and access to REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE. Yup, all that abstinence training is a bunch of bull shit. You can't have our teens watching/listening oversexed media and then think they'll wait till marriage before getting down. Does nobody in Washington remember how they felt at 16?! And for the rest of us, we all know our lives change at the drop of a hat, no matter how much we prepare and plan. Why do we have to keep trying to win those voters when they'll never accept anything but making abortion illegal?

There is no way Ill vote for McCain, but that Obama magnet I have on my car is starting to bother me.


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Whew!!
So I have internet, but now I just dont have any time. I am coming up on my second week of being an RA at Caltech and Im exhausted. Its non stop entertaining and although I enjoy my residents and the activities, I really miss doing absolutely nothing. In the past couple days Ive spent the day at the beach in Santa Monica, watched fireworks in Pasadena, been to Hollywood and Universal Studios Citywalk. Im burnt crispy and my feet hurt. Today is the Getty. To top it all off, im studying for my CSET on the 19th. Ugh.

Being at Caltech has been pretty amazing, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think Id be living on this campus. Just being in close proximity to great science research makes me giddy. The people I work with have become great friends and we spent last night eating ridiculously amazing scones ( on of my bosses is going to school to be a baker) and laughing so much my stomach hurt. Im tired but blissfully happy.


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Now playing: Sean Lennon - Wasted
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I had to link to this blog entry because I think it kicks ass. I am often thought of as an angry, irrational and hysterical person because of my political views and that usually shuts me up because Im tired of fighting with assholes. Basically it means I need to find some new people to hang out with. Anyways, woot woot!

I decided to dedicate this post to the code words typically attributed to feminists. Of course you cannot point out social injustice without being angry, irrational, and hysterical. All logical people naturally exist as automatons, going through their days parroting the status quo. Only an unbalanced person would even begin to think that the system we live under could possibly be unfair. What do you mean all men operate with gender privilege? In fact even pointing out that calling a feminist angry, irrational, and hysterical is sexist, is enough to further entrench the views of some.

Read more

Holy Crap!

I was so dedicated to blogging that I never thought almost 2 months would go by without posting. Thanks to Peter, I have decided to squeeze in at least an update.

Having a job and no internet made it a little tricky to post. By the time I made it through LA traffic after work to the library, I was exhausted and had barely enough mental energy to check my email. Then I started school again, which means reading the news and my beloved blogs is almost nonexistent. So, what kept me alive when I had nothing to do, is now a guilty pleasure. Even now, I feel I should be doing some hw instead of this.

So, Im way behind in the news and this irritates me. I read maybe a few eye catching articles from the NY Times and then I copy and past some others to a Word document that I hope to get to later in the day. It very rarely happens. Now instead of being depressed because of all the bad news, Im depressed that I dont have the time to read all the bad news.

Things I hate:
buying baby stuff
going "green"- its turned into a fad
"green" commercials
where is Heroes?!
traffic
LA it just too big
straightening my hair
not having time to read

Things I love
Countdown with Keith Olbermann (sp?)
museums
my new bangs
living in LA
H&M
NY Times
Pasadena Central library
high school kids
my Ipod shuffel- thanks Jen!
LA Weekly
talking to Peter

ok, ill try to keep this updated at least every 2 weeks!

1) So, while waiting to cross the street, a truck drove by and the man in the passenger seat yelled out “hey!” So I turned to figure out what he wanted, and the fucker started blowing me kisses. To make matters worse, the truck had a Hillary for President sticker on it. Hypocrite.

2) Today is Earth Day and while I’m all for environmentalism, I’m tired of the “green” bullshit. TV commercials by Clorox and Chevron talk about their “green” products or how they are moving towards a more “green” business. Yeah fucking right. If the gas companies hadn’t hired such ruthless lobbyist to keep America dependent on oil, we most likely would not be in the predicament we’re in ( I just paid $3.83/gal for gas the other day and yes, I felt super guilty). Our scientists and engineers would have long ago thought up cleaner, cheaper and less invasive energy sources. “Green” has now become a marketing ploy to BUY MORE STUFF WE DON’T NEED.

3) On Thursday I have to teach a lesson in front of a class, a principal and the school director. It’s, my second interview for a full time teaching position at a charter school and I am terrified. At the moment, I still have yet to hear what I need to teach and how long it should be. I have major planning, studying and practicing to do and so far have less then 2 days to do it. I’m trying to not get so stressed about it, but I really want this position. What ultimately sold me was that there is tons of open space and the director told me that if wanted, I could turn some of it into a garden. Holy Shit, a dream come true. Wish me luck.

4) Here are two op-ed articles I found that I just could not resist posting. In fact, I think they go hand in hand.

Clueless in America

We don’t hear a great deal about education in the presidential campaign. It’s much too serious a topic to compete with such fun stuff as Hillary tossing back a shot of whiskey, or Barack rolling a gutter ball.

The nation’s future may depend on how well we educate the current and future generations, but (like the renovation of the nation’s infrastructure, or a serious search for better sources of energy) that can wait. At the moment, no one seems to have the will to engage any of the most serious challenges facing the U.S.

An American kid drops out of high school every 26 seconds. That’s more than a million every year, a sign of big trouble for these largely clueless youngsters in an era in which a college education is crucial to maintaining a middle-class quality of life — and for the country as a whole in a world that is becoming more hotly competitive every day.

Still with stupid?

With political discourse reduced to screaming contests and actual news eclipsed by exclusive and shocking footage of celebrities without makeup, we've become not only impatient with but downright opposed to the kinds of ideas that can't be reduced to a line on a screen crawl or a two-sentence blog entry.

What's more, a lot of people who harbor an intolerance for complexity see it not as a character flaw but a cognitive virtue. That's because they've fallen into the trap of believing that complicated ideas ("complicated" now constituting anything that requires reading, watching or listening to in its entirety) are the purview of the "elite."

I find it very difficult to post when Im in the library. I don’t really know why. I guess maybe because I don’t want anyone to see what Im writing, or since I can only sit so long on that hard wood chair, Id rather spend my time reading. So, Ive decided to write my post at home, using Word, and then when I go to the library, ill paste it onto my blog. Lame? Maybe, then again, I may post more this way.

1) 1) Last week I went to go hear a lecture given by Stephen Hawkings. It started at 8 pm, but since seating was based on first come, first serve, I got there at 5. At that time there was already a huge line. I guess when you’re a famous scientist talking at CalTech, one should assume there will be a lot of geeks around. Anyways, even after waiting 3 hrs in line, I barely made the cut off to be in the auditorium he was speaking in. Everyone after, at least another 500 more, was sent to another place, and watch him on a screen. The lecture kicked ass. It felt so good to be there. My happy place is a college campus. Then to be around so many people interested in science. And to top it off, since CalTech is a prestigious school, there were lots of cute (SMART) guys with accents : ) I just wish I understood more about cosmology, a lot of it was hard for my brain to process, but it was still pretty amazing. I have a new crush : )

2) 2) While subbing last week I suffered a bout of depression. It was at a high school, and for the most part it was easy (middle school kids are a handful), but I just couldn’t get past how undervalued I was. I was reading an article in National Geographic about biomimetrics (they were taking a test), I had just seen Stephen Hawkings the night before, had a degree in Molecular Biology and day after day, I have to babysit kids that could give a rats ass about their education and love to just be a pain in the ass. I realized why it is so hard to recruit science and math teachers. We work our asses off and for the most part the kids HATE science, HATE school, and HATE taking responsibility for their own actions ( every time I catch some kid doing something, he/she would blame someone eles). They never have paper or pens, but have ipods and cellphones. And in one instance, when they find my pen case, they steal my favorite Sharpie. I know its hard because I don’t know these kids, that the classes I sub for are not mine and that they may have a boring/bad teacher. I have good days and bad days, and things may get better when I get my own class, and I am teaching in East LA so it was expected that these kids would test me, but I still worry.

3) 3) Funny subbing story: I was getting frustrated because of all the trash on the floor. I don’t know about middle school kids, but when they leave a class room, there is trash everywhere. For students who say they never have any paper, they find it somewhere and turn it into airplanes and paper balls. ( You should see my backpack at the end of the day, its full of stuff I confiscate!) Anyways, I walked to a particularly messy area and said “You guys need to pick up all this shi…” I caught myself before I finished, but the kids new exactly what I ment. I thought they were going to jump all over me for it, but the reaction I got was interesting.

Students: You cussed Ms.!! (that’s what they call me)
Me: Almost, I caught myself (huge grin on my face )
Students: You cussed! You’re cool Ms.!!

They immediately started to pick up the trash, after several failed attempts earlier! Maybe because I was talking on their level or maybe it showed that I was human. Too bad I can't use that method more often.

So, ideally Id be updating this blog often, but we dont live in ideal world (evidence seen in previous blogs) I have been struggling to get a routine going, and since I dont have internet at my grandma's making time to go to the library before 9pm is a little difficult. Finally figure out that i would just do a lot of cut and pasting, that way I can read at home and not spend 4 hrs ( timed parking) at the library (which I can do very easily). Point being, be patient with me, I hope to have everything figured out soon. Im well, work is good, not only just because Im working but because Im getting a lot of experience. I have A LOT to learn

One Minute News Vacation

This is so me : )

Thursday was my first day as a substitute teacher. It was at a middle school, for a science class. For 6 periods I helped students make microscopes. Some periods were better than others, with decent microscopes and better classroom manners, but I had fun. For some reason some kid kept asking me sex questions, not to be crude, he was just curious. I kinda felt sorry for him because he was super embarrassed asking me, and they were relatively common sense questions. Great sex ed we have in our classrooms. Friday I subbed for another science class, but at a different middle school. Those kids pushed me too my limits. It didnt help that the lesson that was left for me was super boring, read the chapter and answer questions on phases of matter (solid, liquid and gas). I always knew my biggest problem was going to be discipline. I don't really know much about the rules or what is considered a behavior problem worth sending someone to the office, or just something I need to deal with on my own. Either way, it was a learning experience and I had fun. It also feels great that Im working again. : )

I haven't started working yet, mainly since its spring break and few schools are all round, so have spent most of my time reading and chatting it up with grandma. My new hangout is Arcadia Public Library and although I miss something more comfortable to sit in while reading the news ( it has WiFi and I surf the net on my own computer), its nice to people watch and read (one of my favorite things do to in Santa Cruz). Also, hanging out with the grandma is always interesting. Today, over a breakfast of soy chorizo and potatoes with beans and salsa ( YUM, she happens to be an amazing cook) we talked about all sorts of stuff, a good chunk about marriage (she sees it as a way to honor God, I think its just a piece a paper). One would think these conversations could get heated, but they don't. She'll either slyly change the subject very, or just agree to disagree. Yesterday, she asked about Obama's speech on race, and even though a VERY strong supporter of Clinton, she was pleased with what he said and that he did not reject his pastor (did I mention she was very religious?)

Anyways, here are my musings for the day:

China, Tibet and the Olympics: So China has been getting some heat for awhile. Suffering from insane amounts of pollution, a history of human rights offenses, not urging Sudan to do more about Dafur and recently (well not really) its issues with Tibet which have resulted in some violence this week. All of these offenses have some call for a boycott of the Summer Olympics being held in China this year. China is even claiming that the Dali Lama is the one who is calling for the violence in Tibet, even though he recently said he would resign if that were true. People have been calling for a boycott. While I do believe we should be supporting our athletes, I feel that it should be known that while they may be able to control dissent in their country, they cannot control it in this one (this said while im giving the middle finger to the telecom's via telepathy over the internet connection). Anyways, while reading the comments of the linked article I read one that struck me as simple yet effective. While the torch is being carried through Tibet, everyone should wear something that is bright yellow, showing unity with Tibet, that way when televised, you will see a bunch of yellow. The Tibetan flag has a sun on it. Im all about symbolism.

US high school graduation rate discrepancies: Here we go again. So, states have found that the numbers that they give to the federal government and the ones for the state are different, by a good amount. Surprised? And California wants to cut education budgets...what a mess.

MTV Awards More Relevent than Oscars? Is that a good thing? I guess we'll see when they release the nominees. Now, it has always been my impression that the Oscar's are about well done movies and performances, while MTV is about what is most popular. I just seen No Country for Old Men last night, and it really was damn good. I doubt popular culture thinks so. If relevance is about honoring crap that people pay to see to not think, I think we should be worried. Then again, it could just mean that the Oscars, not the movies, is kinda boring. This post is for my film buff friend Peter.

An F-You to: Dick Chaney
An interview with the VP:

Q: Let me go back to the Americans. Two-thirds of Americans say it's not worth fighting, and they're looking at the value gain versus the cost in American lives, certainly, and Iraqi lives.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: So?

Read the rest

Aye, Aye, Aye.

UPDATE:

My thoughts on the Obama speech:

As I am an avid reader, the offensive remarks of the religious right have not escaped me. Naively, I was surprised that what Wright (Obamas’s pastor) had said made news, when comments from the religious right, new buddies of McCain, had not. Would I have phrased my dissent in the same way? No, although I certainly understand the truth behind it, and like Obama discussed, context is everything.

Racism in this country is very relevant in many people’s lives. To deny that the ghosts of slavery or segregation no longer haunt us has only to look at academic achievement, neighborhoods that contain high proportions of minorities, politics and our prison system (to name a few). It is time to discuss race, to put it in the context of both the majority and the minority and to be honest about its effects (bitterness, anger, hopelessness, and ignorance). And I think Obama did that marvelously.

He took a difficult subject and honestly addressed it. I think that his ability to articulate such an issue as well as he did shows the type of president he could be. He did not reject his pastor completely, but his words instead. If the Religious Right is so insistent on getting Christian morals into the White House, I suggest they embrace this man instead of their hate filled republicans ( Sally Kern comes to mind) Then again, I think we all know that’s not what they really want.

I have said before that I don’t believe that any one person can solve all the problems this country has. And I don’t pretend that Obama is without faults and weaknesses, after all, he’s human. But Id much rather have a man like Obama attempting it.

And because it can always be said better by someone eles

Watch it:



WOW

Obama 2008

I promise Ill write something a more articulate soon