I have been trapped in my room due to the enormous storm that has hit Santa Cruz. Since rain is nothing new here, i usually brave the weather and go out. But this storm is just too strong. If there are branches breaking from the wind and rain, i think thats a clue to stay the hell inside. So I am and although i was going to use this time off to finish up some Christmas shopping, im kinda glad to be just laying in bed, still in my pj's even though its almost 4 and just listiening to Billie Holliday. Life is great. Now I can catch up on making my blanket, reading, and just my usual laying around. Now if i just had a Mexican Mocha Id be set. But like I said, im staying inside, where its warm and dry. I am the only person on my floor right now, most of my kids swore that Id miss them, and althought the thought of people is comforting, I am not as loneley as everyone said I would be. So one of my charished characteristics pays off in more then one way. I do really love to be alone. I would rather go out alone, watch movies alone and shop alone. I want to travel alone but unfortunately my parents are ridgidly against it. So although I know many people who wont even go to the dining hall alone, I am quiet the opposite and enjoy my own company. But as I have come to notice, there are many sides to me. Not that i have multiple personalities, but that there are different aspects to my personality that come and go. But is seems to be induced by my surroundings. When im home, all I want to do is to be around with my SD buddies and my family. When Im here alone, all I want to do is be alone. Hmm. The brain is very tricky. Maybe im just good at adjusting to things that just cant be helped. Ok, im babbling. Anyways, got my grades back. I passesed Calculus!!!! HaHa!! And I got a B in bio and a B+ in sociology, pretty good if you ask me, even thougth i was hoping for an A in sociology, a B+ will due. Ahh, now just imagine what I could do if I just studied as much as I should. Ok, well just thought Id check in. Ill be home on Monday, cant wait. Hope all is well with everyone, and for those still doing finals, may the Force be with you. Love Ya!!!


".....who will buy, who would like to sample my supply, whose prepared to pay the price, for a trip to paradise,........ love for sale"

Ahhhhh. There is not a more gratifying feeling then finishing your finals and having nothing better to do then lay around. Unfortunately, even though my finals finished yesterday, I have been barely able to enjoy the extra time. My crazy life does not get any better with school over, for there are many aspects that are still in full force even after the last test. The RA gig turned into overdrive at the worst possiple time.....finals week.....but knowing this when I signed up for the job, I took it like a the rock that I am and managed to solve the dilema and manage to squeak by on my finals. And of course there is my second job, my research. I just happened to finish the biggest part of my experiment this week, which means for the past 3 weeks I have been mating my vibrio and e. coli, transfering the results to over 200 plates and picking 3000 colonies to create my mutant library. Mind you there is lot of backround work to this, like making media, washing over 200 pieces of velvet and counting 5447 colonies which came from this experiment. But now, i have my thesis, I have 150 different colonial morphology mutants of the rugose form of V.cholerea. So now is the data collecting process, which happened today,consisting of about 80 drawings of different colonies and there is still more to do. But of course all work and no play makes Selena a dull girl, which in my case isnt true. Being a part of all these things has its perks. I had an E-tox dept. Christmas party which was followed by a Res. Life Christmas party in which during the White Elephant gift exchange I recived a stolen "Drama" sign from the drama building.Hmmm, Im still debating if I should hang that up seeing as how I dont want to get in trouble for vandalizing the drama building. RA's set such good examples . In regards to RA perks, I got an anonymous gift that was left on my door. Seeing as how the note read " Until you get the real one" and opened it to find the Spiderman DVD and a Spiderman calender, I can only guess that this is from my kids. Why would I assume this? Well at breakfast one time I remember telling my kids that I would like a guy who wouldnt mind dressing up as Spiderman. This was a totally innocent request, so all you dirty minded people, get your head out of the gutter! I remember only saying this to them, so that is why i think, one or a few of them did this. Anyways, it made my day, and will make my vacation. Although sometimes i feel like throwing some of them off the balcony, I really do love all my kids. Well I am staying here for another week to do more data collecting and to work on my research paper, so I will not just be lying around like I would be if I was home. SD buddies, i will be home soon. Cant wait. But for now I am destined to wander the halls alone, trying to keep myself from being afraid of the haunted dorms, and working my butt off. Everyone good luck on finals. I will see you soon!!!!!

".....there's beauty in the breakdown..."

There are only two ways to get me to shut up. Kissing and listening to oldies.The first is obvious, but seldom used. Oldies on the other hand has become a favorite weapon of my friend Gabe, who constantly tells me that I " talk too damn much". Thus, he has recently downloaded a bunch of my favorites onto my computer, which secures a peaceful lunch when he makes his tuesday visit. I dont know why this type of music has the effect it does. Maybe it makes me think of my dad, who got me hooked in the first place. Or maybe its just the beat and the truthfulness that comes from the lyrics. Whatever it is, I am a slave to oldies and find myself in a dream like trance listening to it. So Gabe, even thought I know this is your way of getting me to quit talking, thank you. The following song has been dear to my heart for many years, for many reasons. Enjoy!!

If you want something to play with /go and find yourself a toy/ baby my time is too expensive/ and im not a little boy/ if you are serious/ dont play with my heart it makes me furious/ but if you want me to love you then baby i will /girl you know i will/ tell it like it is/ dont be ashamed/ let you conscious be your guide/ i know deep down inside of me/ i beleive you love me/ foregt you foolish pride/ life is too short/ to have sorrow/ you may be here today/ and gone tomorrow/ you might as well / get what you want/ so go on and live/ baby go on an live/ tell it like it is/ im nothing to play with/ got an find you self a toy/ tell it like it is/ my time is too expensive / and im not you little boy.

Aaron Neville- Tell it Like it Is

On to another topic I am very mad at myself becuase I stayed up to see the meteor shower on tuesday and didnt make a single wish. I mush have been delirious with cold and sickness, but still, not one single wish! But i think that the stars knew what I wanted becuase I passed my math test!!!!! So despide my raging fever and runny nose, I am in a celebatory mood. So my once "I hate school" attitude has switched to "I dislike school", which is a big improvement, believe me. So there is really only 4 more days of classes and then finals, so Im not so bitter anymore. Unfortunately, since my school doesnt do anything practiacl, I have 2 finals the monday after Thanksgiving, which means I am staying here to study and dream of being compleately stuffed. But I get paid in Safeway money for being "RA for a day", so im gonna go get me some food!!! Well I hope all of you are well, I must leave to finish up some of my hw so i can take my Nyquil and peace out for then night. Love you!


"....just look to your soul, and open your mind..."

One more day to study till the big Math test. I feel confident but im scared because thats how i felt before and we all know that it didnt work out that way. I dont think Ive studied this hard for math. Probably because I always get frustrated to much. Math is the only subject that I lothe beyond any other entity on this planet. I have a deep rooted hatred for this subject. Ever since long division, I have shuttered at the mention of math. Yes, even at an early age, math tourmented my soul. But if I pass this class, it will be the last math class I will ever have to take, ending the vicious journey I have endured for so long. Yes, althought physics still lurks in the horizen, it will not be categorized under Math in the schedual of classes. To all of those who are horrible at math, my heart goes out to you. To those of you who are good at it, well, I am so desperate that I could see myself inventing a way of sucking out all you your brain and using your ability to think mathmatically to my advantage. Dont ask me how I could accomplish this, I really havent thought of it till now, but belive me, Id find a way. So everyone, dust of the good ol' Selena shrine, light some scented candles (vanilla perferably) and start the chanting. I am going to need every kind of power to get me through this class. I hope everyone is doing better then I am in there classes, you are in my heart if not. Good luck to everyone. And when the going gets tough, rememeber, Christmas break is almost here!!
"... I know my calculus, U + Me = Us..."

Hola!! I have office duty here at Res Life and since I picked the greatest time, there is not a single person here to bother me. So instead of studying for my midterm tomorrow, im taking advatage of the unlimited office supplies I have at my disposal. Amyways, my point is this. I was sitting in my classical sociological theory section talking about Weber and Universtiy learning. This may not make much sense to most of you, but believe me, its relevent. Anyways, we were talking about how the traditional style of learning sucks and how we would much rather be out actually learning stuff then just memorizing everything when later, all that we learned would ( for all you ochem people) would become leaving groups, making way for the next pile of junk we need to store in our short term memory. Now since I have started my research, my feelings for school have become less then luckwarm. Truthfully, I HATE IT!!! My classes couldnt even keep a vegetable happy. For those of you who dont know, I am master of Vibrio cholerea . I have learned more in the few months that Ive been around then I think ive learned in all 3 of my classes. I hate leaving to go to class or missing something because of class. So we are stuck in an "iorn cage" of American education, and there really isnt anything to do about it. Yuck. Oh and for all of you SC buddies, its the first rain today,come snag a spot on the balcony, because the naked people are coming tonight!!!

I thought this would be appropriate considering the weather:
"....and I wont be your winter..."

Yesterday, I had the most amazing conversation with J. I have never felt so alive as I did talking with him about life, love and all the little things that make us tick. Although his outlook on life is very pessimistic, its full of passion and I was so turned on mentally that my eyes constantly teared up . All I could think of was how amazing he was, and how much more I liked him. I just wanted to pick apart his brain, wanted him to talk more and more, about what it is to be alive. It awakened me, shook me up, It made me want to sing and to read poetry and books, to learn all there is to learn about everything in this world. I realize how sheltered I am and how much I really dont know. I thought of Pinero, listening to him. I could feel the words, I could hear the music, feel the passion. Never before have I felt that way. Both my mind and body were aroused by this boy, who although agreed with his negative views, now wishes to go back to being innocent. Wonderful. I will never forget that day, I will never forget how I felt and I will never forget him.

Two quotes are neccessary for this entry:

"....to love is eternal innocence
And the only innocence is not to think" - Fernando Pessoa

"...like patience, passion comes from the latin root pati . It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer." - Mark Danielewski

Seeing as how in the past two years a war zone has been made of this campus, i have come up with ways to coop with the noise, the destruction and the really horrible detours we have to endure. With the coming of "fog" it has made the dirt moist, releasing one of my most favorite smells, wet dirt. Yes, I know Im a little on the odd side, but when you see a hundred or so year old redwood have an untimely death, you try to make the best of the situation. I have not become a hippie nazi,( although I have been characterized as "hippie goth") I just think it a really horrible thing to watch a tree fall at the hands of a power saw. Plus since I work near one of the "zones of death" its hard not to turn bitter when its noisey, they hit a gas pipe and I cant do replica plating, there is fungus growing on my agar because there is junk flying all over the place. Danm the construction!!! Ok, well my bitterness is fading since im gonna start packing to go home!!!!! Plus I am taking a night off and am vegging, letting all my hw, research researching and RA business pile up into an uncontrollable mess, my favorite to tackle. Ok, its time to wish I was Cat Womens daughter. Ha Ha!

You shall be my roots
I will be your shade
Though the sun burns my leaves
You shall quence my thirst ....

I just got off the phone with my mother, who most of you have heard from me to be a psychic. Well she was telling me a crazy thing that happened to her this past weekend involving my dead grandfather. I am starting to believe I belong to a family whose women have supernatural powers.Now I know most of you are probabaly rolling your eyes, but I cannot deny what I know about myself and about my female relatives, specifically my mother and my grandmother. I do not know why now my intuition has become as strong as it has, or why it happens to be passed on through the generations, but to me, I see it as a gift from the women in my family. Call me crazy, or whatever eles your thinking, but I have experiance in this and believe that I know and feel things that most people dont. I could give you a list of examples, but I will keep these to myself to protect the many people who directly or indirectly have been affected by this sense of mine. So to those of you in the future, if I ever tell you something, you might want to take my word for it, because I think that as I grow older, this sense will also grow, and I just might be right.

"...not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems.."

Since I was forced to stay in my room and read, I decided to make things more plesant and put on my headphones. I had recently burned a mix of classical music and that was my first choice. And well, it was really hard to concentrate on Marx when all I wanted to do was to pretend I was a water droplet. You may not understand this if you didnt attened a symphony with me in 5th grade. During the symphony they told us to close our eyes and pretend we were a water droplet. It was one of the most amazing things of my life and since then, anytime I hear classical music, I become a water droplet. Music seems to get inside of me, it brings a calm over me. There have been many a times where on my way to class I completely fade out of reality and dont wake up till im sitting in class. A whole half hour goes by without me noticing just because Im listening to music. Very cool.



"...sometimes I think you want me to touch you...."

Greetings from Santa Cruz!
my life is not mine anymore, it belongs to the university. So I finally was able to sneak away for a little while and let you all know that Im still alive. School sucks, I hate 2 of the 3 classes Im taking, which isnt surprising since Ive always hated math and plants. Thank God for sociology. I never thought I would be reading Marx for a class, its wonderful. My kids have yet to do something bad, so thats a relief, but I never thought that you would have to tell an 18 yr old to be quiet several times( everday) or to stop doing skateboard tricks in their room or to quit stealing dishes from the dining hall, or to smoke in designated areas or to quit playing basketball at 3 am and to keep their keys on them. I thought at 18 you were suppose to be an adult. Oh well, at least its just little things. Another aspect of my life is my research, which so far has gone well. Although all I am doing is making my bacteria genetic library, its kinda cool to be doing my own research. Vibrio cholerea rocks!!! Another chunk of of my life,is devoted to my clubs, which at our last SHAC meeting, there were all guys, and thats pretty impressive, I knew I was too beautiful to stay away from. CHE is still a wreak, all the core members have conflicting scheduals and so setting up a meeting time is tough. As for a social life, it consits of constant contact with my freshies, who, are not all that bad, they're pretty cool, and one of my kids knows Trungs sister, cool huh? Well, must go, Calculus calls, and I must start my half hour voyage to class. Everyone stay sane. I will try to do the same.

"...Inside you, time moves..."

Well Im upset so this is where Im going to vent. A girl was found on campus unconsious Friday night. She was found by a proctor and was sent to the hospital because she was totally unresponsive. She reported that she only had 1/2 a beer and 3 shots which of course is not enough to render you unconcious so its is assumed that she was slipped something. Sure enough she attended a frat party, a frat that has been known to brag about their date rape conquests. Ok, for those of you in a frat in SC, you(sorry if your not) are all idiots!! You are so not accepted in the first place here so why make yourselves more nauseating!! And how am I suppose to find a decent man when I have to worry about scum like you!! It makes me want to vomit. I just dont understand how people can be that way. I always felt very safe here, and now because some idiots happen to attend this school as well, I have to watch my back and my friends back to make sure we're not being preyed upon. Disgusted is the only word that I can think of to discribe my feelings towards these people. Frat boys suck just as much as calculus. And thats the worst insult because I dont hate anything more then calculus!! Friends be careful out there, I dont need to hear anymore bad news. I love you

"...Ill wash the streets from your skin when you come home..."

Im back!! Ill be a good girl and keep this at a reasonable legnth this time. I am really starting to appreciate this whole RA thing . It's not the free room and board thats got me all giddy, but all the wonderful things Ive been exposed to because of it. I have met some really great people and seen some really cool stuff that is offered here. I am now starting to believe that I attend a really awesome school, and fortunate for me, nobody outside of SC knows that. Last night I went to the GLBT center ( Gay, Lesbian, Bi and Transgender) and learned all about the subject, met some cool people and found a really cool space to just hang out. Plus its got a full kitchen, what more can you ask for? College has been a huge eye opener for me. Coming from a very conservative town, and then arriving here, its just amazing how much I really dont know. And no matter how much further I go in my quest for knowledge, I think I will always believe that. Very, very cool. Merrill College rocks. Not only does it house the most gorgeous girl on campus, it is home to places like the GLBT center, the radio station KZSC, the Peace Core, the Pottery Co-op, EnviroMerrill and has its own taqueria. I dont know why they call it Sterile Merrill. We have the coolest resources and because of Heart Attack hill, the nicests asses on campus. How can anyone complain. Ahhh, Santa Cruz, once the subject my inner torument, now where I call home. Dont worry all you SD folk, I will always be a San Diegan at heart, but I think, after all these years, Ive finally found my place here. How can one not feel so welecomed to a place where not only the people are friendly but so are the deer! And the be surrounded by the most magnificent species of trees. Did you know that redwoods get 90% of their water from fog? Isnt that so cool!! Ok, Ill stop, I think Im scaring some people, dont worry, Im just in a good mood.

".....ohh you creep up like the clouds and you set my soul at ease..."

As a junior( omg) now in college, I realize that junior year in college is reminding me of my junior year in high school. It was the crackdown year, the hardest year, the one that counted. Well Im now taking upper division in almost all of my classes, which is a dream come true considering the hell that intro classes have put me through. And I will begin working on my thesis in october and checking out med/grad schools, and practicing for the GRE and MCAT. Wow. Not to mention that I am in charge of 32 freshmen, and a core member of a club for the health center, plus a 20 yr old just trying to have some fun in the mists of all this that will effect the rest of my life. Pretty heavy huh. I am still debating on my 5th year or year off, there are many pros and cons, and well, as usually I am totally "passionate" about it all. Not only am I freaking out about my graduation date, I have been debating on what I want to do with my degree. For as long as I can remember, Ive wanted to be a doctor. But now research has its claws in me, and my research has me particullary excited and confused. For those of you who dont know, I am doing research on the bacteria that caused cholera. Its isnt dangerous as long as I dont eat it, so if you come to visit me in lab, make sure you wash your hands. I have always been really interested in infectious diseases, and dreamed of working for the CDC, particularly working in different countries and doing field research. The problem with science, and I guess with a college education in general is that you are exposed to so many different things that your dreams and goals change from year to year. My professor was right, I am more confused then when I came to SC. Enough about that, i will think about it tomorrow ( good ol' Scarlett) . Anyways as of yet, my kids are pretty good. The only problems I have encountered are quiet hours violations and a girl who has a mattress that makes her sick. At this moment Im knocking on wood because I dont know how much longer these kids are gonna act like angles. Lets just hope that they all really are angles and this is no act. HaHa. You may be wondering how I can possible come up with all this stuff to say, I am the reigning blabber mouth amongst my cirlce of freinds and I dont know if I should take that as a compliment or as an insult. I think my ability to ramble on FOREVER, makes me more personable which is why I have more friends then my ex- roomies, althought I dont know why, because I think they are all pretty cool. Anyways, my explanation for my unatural talent is due to the fact that my brain is a workaholic. Althought the brain is a workaholic naturally, i think some of the areas of my brain are working overtime, making all these thoughts, ideas and just plain jumble come out through my hands and onto the keyboard. Unfortunately you all( at least those of you who made it this far) most likely have to deal with me on a daily basis, which, has lead some people to become cliniclly insane, but I mean well, I love all of you and just want to give of myself all that I can. Well good luck in school all you, Ill shut up now, not because I want to but because my animals are beckoning me to close the window because like crazy Santa Cruz weather, it has gone from 80 degrees to 40. I love you

"....Ill give a little bit, Ill give a little bit of my life for you..."

Hello Everyone!!!
Im back and have lots to say! I have just gone through two weeks of some very interesting training. As some of you may know, I am an RA this year. The first week was rather chill, more just getting to know each other (the other RA's). The next week was much harsher and we were out and about from 9 am to 9 pm, and afterwords scrambled to muster up creative juices to make door decks,which ended up using all my paint, but came out ( in my opinion) kinda cool. I used to think that 2 weeks was a pretty short time. But in the two weeks Ive been here, i have learned and seen more then I have in the 2 years that Ive been here. Rather interesting stuff at that. So when I thought i would just be learing about policy and how to handle my kids, I learned a lot about myself and other people in a group. This has been the second time Ive been in the situation were I am put into a group and spend every waking hour with them. And this group is much different from my internship group, and in a way I think they are different in a better way. I could go into a full fledged essay on this subject, but i will save it for my journal. Anyways, I am enjoying my single, an advantage to my RAing, and have it fully crammed with so much stuff I still find myself looking at my walls with interest. I have almost covered every inch of my walls, an accomplishment in my eyes. My hall has now reached full occupency and so I am know longer creeped out when I make my way to the bathroom. My residents seem pretty cool, I of course have my potential trouble makers, but their 18 yr old boys, so I guess its just somehting I should expect. My training was frist put into action when I was awaken at 8:30 am the other day to help one of my male students put his earing in, which he had difficulty with because it had closed up in the back. Super RA to the rescue!!!! Well school will start on wed. so I am making sure that I enjoy the recently empty days, which has involved walking along West Cliff and eathing mexican food(my favorite pastime) Ahhh. Well Ill shut up. Have a good day, Love ya

"...just a day, just an ordinary day..."

Ahhh, one more week. It will be quite a week at that. I am gonna be running around none stop. First there is work of course, then there are those damn write ups, meetings with professors, packing, socializing, a bbq, and the John Mayer concert. Yes!! I love being busy. I have now been considering a 5th year of school. I know that sounds pretty crappy, but the way I look at it is that I can take my time with my classes, take my advanced ochem like I wanted and go abroad. Plus I can spend more time with my research, which is always a good thing. I have gotten two three replys from different professors I want to work with. One works with cyclic peptides, one with heme, and the other with mammalian brain development. We'll see what happens. On another note, Im really getting tired of all this moving junk. I had to move out of my apt when school ended, then move into The Village for my internship, now I got to movie out of The Village and then into my room for the school year. Because of all of this Ive decided to get a P.O Box, plus the campus mail system sucks. Well thats about it. This will be the last of these blogs for a while, probably not till Sept. I got better things to do when I go home, like spending money I dont have. Well ttyl. Love you

"...Whisper me away from you..."

This week has really made me think, in a diffferent way of course, which is why Im choosing to write about it. Unlike the other weeks of my internship, this week has nothing to do with lab. Instead we are learning how to write about ourselves. For us science majors, writing about ourselves happens only twice. Once, when we apply for college and second when we apply for graduate school/med school. Which is why most of us were trembling with nervouseness at the thought of this week. But it has been quite an experiance for me so far and its only been the second day. Normally my bragging skills are bordering pathetic. Of course I know Im a good person and I am at least moderately intelligent, but try to sell yourself to someone who has read the same thing 5 million times before reading it in your statement. Graduate school/med school has got me shaking in my boots. It was said that 35,000 students applied for med school last year and only 16,000 got in. Yikes. Makes you do some deep meditation about what the hell your gonna do to make yourself look amazing.After doing some quick writes and participating in conversation, I think I am seriously ready to kick some personal statement butt. I have a rough draft due at the end of the week, and although I plan to make it a damn good statement, I have yet to start on it, and on 2 other lab write ups for that matter. Wow, my motivation dies quick. But I have made a resolution and plan on doing some serious studying these next two years. You might think Im crazy for thinking about the next 2 years, but like I said I am very "passionate" and anything that keeps my attention for more then 5 minutes is dwelled upon until it cant be processed another way, EVER. Ahh the mind of Selena. I think if someone tried to study my brain, I would wear them out. My neurons and axons are at constant motion, not only to keep my heart beating but to figure out what the hell all this Stuff means. "Stuff" meaning life. I have changed my mind about things so many times, made so many lists, and scheduals, I dont even know which ones are the most recent, which then produces a new list a new decision or a new schedual. Maybe if I put half the energy I did thinking about random stuff, into my education, I might not be as stressed out as I am. Baby steps people, its all about baby steps. As for my life outside my brain, the weather has finally cleared up and since I have no lab I have taken advatage of it and am getting some use out of my sandles and summer clothes. I have two more weeks left and am looking forward for the very brief visit home (Grignard misses me) Well I will stop my rambiling (believe me, I could write more) Everyone stay safe, Happy Summer, Love you

"....there goes the fear.."

Hola!! Ok, Im really proud of myself because I thought that I would be writing in this thing constantly and well, as you may have already noticed I am very bad at updating it, which means I have made steps towards doing less meaningless things. Well I have a ton of meaningless projects that still take up a majority of my time, but at least I havent added another. Anyways, the intership is still going well, i am learning not only a lot of science, but also a lot about myself, which is always a good thing. For one, I am sometimes very antisocial and another I really need to start organizing what I learn, because unfortunately I dont remember a thing about fresheman year and well, I kinda needed that gen. chem. stuff. But I am not alone so thats a good thing. Also my buddies have come back to SC so I am not forced to wander the streets of SC by myslef any longer. Its funny how one minute you cant wait to get away from people and then the next you miss them like you'd miss half of your heart. Ahh, the joys of being absolutely insane. I am starting to believe it when people call me crazy, because after having time to do many self evaluations, I have realized that I really am. But I dont take that as a bad thing, in fact, i have changed it to a better term. So all of you who I bewilder on a daily basis, dont worry, im not crazy, just very "passionate" about every single thing. Well I hope everyone is having a good summer, I have 3 more weeks to go and then I come home!! Every keep happy and stay safe, I love you

Well I have now finished the 2nd week of my internship, 6 more weeks to go. Acutually, it is going rather well. My fellow workers are all really cool, and we all clicked immediately. So far I have tested my own pee for its contents while consuming a shot of salt water, and learned how to survive in the very confusing world of worm/human genomic databases. The weather here is perfect, not too hot and not too cold. I have actually had time to work on my paintings and other crafts and although life is rather slow around The Village, my cabana dwellers and I have managed to keep somewhat busy. The only problem is the wildlife. Yes, I said wild life. Many of you may have heard me brag about our friendly deers, but The Village is populated with much more. A pack of coyotes live across the way from my cabana and keep me up with their howling and yelping. Also mountiain lions frequent the area. I have yet to see one ( hopefully it stays that way), but many a people have repeorted their sighings and there are bulletins posted all over the place. I refuse to walk around at night at the off chance that I be attacked by a mountain lion, a pack of coyotes, snakes( yes their here too) or rabid deer, squierls and prairie dogs( which are in abundance) Although this may seem like an amusment park to those reading this, believe me, i like nature, but this is out of control. On a better note, I have been going to the beach on a regular basis, ( i actually plan on going today) and have recovered my long lost tan.Well the shower is finally unoccupied and if im gonna have a chance at lukewarm water I better get in there. Hope everyone is enjoying themselves. Keep in touch. Love you

Well once again I am in Santa Cruz. My residence consists of a single room in a rather nice bongalo situated in a giant crater on campus. Although it was believed that this would be a huge disaster, it has been proven otherwise. I have many friends who also live in " The Hole" so I at least have some people to bug. But I have only been here one full day and already I am bored out of my mind. So bored in fact I busied myself by watching my friend cook his dinner. My tv is still in storage so my entertainment has been reduced to listening to my very old playlist and my neighbor get it on with her boyfriend( this was not exactly done voluntarily). Tomorrow will be my first day of work. Once again I am subjected to lab life after a quarter of complete bliss (meaning no lab). Dont get me wrong, I love this stuff. Its just that I also hate it. Instead of a summer full of sun and bikinis, its goggles and flourecent lighting for me. 8 hours a day for 8 weeks of unknown compounds, GC's, funky smells and ( gasp) lab write ups. Yippie Oh well, I know Im gonna love it seeing as how I was practically falling out of my chair when I read some of the research the professors in the program are doing. Although I am upset that my visit home was cut short, I cannot deny the fact that I need to start kicking some science ass if Im gonna get into the MD/PhD program of my dreams. There are no more kick back summers for me my friends, Im am completely devoted to becoming a mad scientist/doctor for the next 10 years ( please pray for me). My friends I must go, and since I know home folk read this more then my SC buddies (they just have to come to my room to hear this) I just want to say that my brief visit was not in vain, I had fun while it lasted and hope you all have a great summer, and keep in touch, I have a feeling Im gonna need some outside interaction to stay sane
Love You

I never really appreciated having nothing to do until I came to college. Now it is a blessing to just sit around and stare at the wall. Well school is officially over and although my mental functions are not quite what they used to be, i am nevertheless alive. I leave here on friday, and then spend the weekend in Big Bear with mi familia and my buddy Jen. So i will be home on Sunday and am expecting that all of you to start planning up stuff cause you need to show Jen that you are at least half as cool as tell her you all are. So now I have two days to just sit around and do nothing , which is nice cause that means i can finally start painting again, and work on my necklaces, which is probably not a good idea since i have a bag full of them that i never wear. Ok, well thats it, I know you are all exctited that summer has finally come and I will be coming home. Now you can for once listen to your parents and put the Selena shrine away. Cant wait to see you all. Love ya. And for all my Santa Cruz buds, im gonna miss you too, but ill be back soon so theres no need to get emotional. See Ya

Ok, its taken me a little while, but ive been kinda busy. Its been hot, well its only 76 degrees, buts thats pretty hot when your used to always being cold. Anyways, my time has been used up trying to keep cool, which means frequent trips to get ice cream, and to Safeway. Spending money alwasy makes me forget how hot it is. Tomrrow is the last day of school, and i only have one class to go to. Thank God. I was talking to my friend today about how the the excitement of school ending has changed. In elememtry and jr. high, i can remember screming for joy and running around like a mad person when the bell rang. In high school, the excitement was still there, but being the mature person i am, i just walked around with a huge grin on my face and made plans for the next three months with friends. Now, all I can see myslef doing is falling on the floor with humility and thanking the heavens for having mercy over me and letting me live through this tourturous year of ochem and biology. But i still have 2 finals left, which puts me at the ultimate test, because not only do I not like the heat, i dont function in it. So i have to drag myself away from the fridge and get myself excited about calculus and bio, which at this point is not working, seeing as how i would rather sip my cold water and write this. This is gonna be a tough weekend. But hopefully i can snag a spot on the beach and study, and test my hypothesis that I will never ever be hit on, seeing as how i am the only person I know who hasnt. But that is the last of my worries, ive got some calc and bio ass to kick and very little time to do it, so everyone pull out their hidden Selena shrine and pray for a fast and painless finals week for me. I love all of you, cant wait to be back in SD so i can complain not only about the heat, but also about the humidity. You gotta love home though. Hasta

Ok, this is my last one for today. I just thought that I should make a meaningful blog instead of the jibberish of my first two. Anyways. It is Memorial Day weekend, and like a good girl I am home studying ( sort of) I have a week left of school ( thank God) and then two finals and then Im going home to San Diego on the 7th. It been kind of depressing because i keep seeing these commercials for San Diego up here and all I can think is that I left that beautiful place to come freeze to death in Santa Cruz. I am also happy that school is ending, not only because that means I get out of school but because I get away from my roomates, who have succesfully driven me mad. I never thought of myself as a very clean person, but im not a disqusting pig which would discribe my roomates. I am gonna live in a single room next year and even though i have to watch 28 freshyies it beats having to live with those girls again. Thats right, im gonna be an RA. Im am very excited. I feel that i have developed a " dont piss me off, or youll be sorry" attituted because of my living situation this year and feel that it will help me deal with my kids next year ( hopefully) Anyways, there is a reason im a staying home on a weekend, which is to study, and seeing as how this does not relate to any of my classes, i should probably quit writing so much. I can already see that this is going to be a problem. Have a nice day !

Yeah!!!! It work! Now I feel really retarted, I never thougth I would get into this, but after seeing all my buddies do it, I figured I would try it out as well. Now I feel cool cause I got it to work. Now lets see if anyone actually reads this stupid thing. Oh well,maybe thats a good thing if they dont cause then i could just vent and not have to worry about getting any feedback. But if you do read this, remember... I am a college student and have become cliniclly insanse.

Ok, im trying this out for the first time and I really dont know if if will work, considering that I have know idea what Im doing. Where is a computer god when I need one, ok, here it goes